Anxieties, Hurts, and Disappointments

Along with anxieties and hurts, we also bring our disappointments to God. If anxieties focus on what 'might happen', and hurts focus on what 'has happened', disappointments focus on what 'has not happened'.. acknowledging or naming our disappointment to God is an important move...because, many of us, if we don't bring our disappointment 'to' God, we will blame our disappointment 'on' God, alienating ourselves from our best hope of comfort and strength... (p119-120/Naked Spirituality/Brian McLaren)

Religion is black and white

Religion makes it all black-and-white. I, however, would much prefer life in colour, thanks.

Resurrection?

What kind of life do we need to live that is worth coming back to?
What kind of world do we need to leave that is worth coming back to? #resurrection

Remembering a birthday

If my brother were alive today, we would be celebrating his 32nd birthday.

How interesting. This year marks the point where he has been gone for as long as he had been alive.

What do I remember about him? Not much, to be honest. I was 13.

I grieve not because I miss him, but rather because we lost the opportunity to create more memories together. Because we lost the opportunity to share and experience life together. Simply, lost opportunities.

The dead they sleep...

The dead they sleep a long, long sleep;
The dead they rest, and their rest is deep;
The dead have peace, but the living weep.
~Samuel Hoffenstein

Rest well and in peace my brother.

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Ad: Fiesta Riverise The Eagles

I love events when they by the river. There's just something about the whole ambience.
Ticketamerica.com has fiesta bowl tickets and for seats at the riverside theatre - wi tickets in Milwaukee Wisconsin, plus you can get the eagles tickets

"Asian Women Reveal to Keeping a Man Happy"

Someone posted on Facebook to an article with the heading, "Asian Women Reveal to Keeping a Man Happy". I clicked on it, ready to laugh and roll my eyes at it, thinking it's probably some lame-ass misogynistic article reminiscent of Malaysia's "Obedient Wives Club".

Well, it probably does sound quite subservient on first read. But then I had a good think about it, and realise in some way, I agree with each general statements/headings, albeit with some change to the details or interpretation. Those of you who know me personally will never think 'subservient' or 'demure' as words to describe me (I think 'raging', 'manic', 'loud', 'raucous' would come to mind before 'subservient' or 'demure') but here's the caveat - I think both parties within a marriage should adhere to these statements for a successful marriage.

So here we go!

1. Your man is king: "Remember that your man/husband comes first – before you, your parents, your outside interests or even your children."
   It's not saying that you must let your children go hungry if your husband demands sex then and there. Many marriages breakdown when the children leave the nest, because couples have spent the last few decades focusing on the needs of the children or community that they had forgotten who they had married and why. A more apt statement would be "Prioritise your marriage".
2. Rise early: "Get up in the morning before your man does. Make sure you prepare a healthy breakfast so he gets a good start on the day. Even if you have to leave before him, make sure he has a nice breakfast waiting for him when he comes into the kitchen in the morning".
   Again, this works both ways. Whoever gets up and gets to the kitchen first, make breakfast-lah. It just so happens that it often ends up being me.
3. Never nag: "Never, ever. If he wants to stop off after work and have a few drinks with his buddies, that’s his business.  If he forgot to take out the garbage – do it yourself."
   Haha! This I must admit is not my forte - I maintain my stance that the ONLY reason women nag is because men do not respond when you tell them nicely once! I only agree that there are some things not worth nagging on - pick your battles wisely!
4. Be at home: "Make sure you’re always at home when he gets in from a hard day at the office. Even if you are working, make sure you get home to your man/husband as soon as possible."Again, is this not a two-way thing? It's certainly important to spend time together, and especially nice when the other party has had a shitty day at work. Maybe not necessarily be at home, but just be there.
5. Smile: "Always greet your man with a smile on your face and, if you can, a cold drink in your hand."
   Hahah I find this amusing - "if you can, a cold drink in your hand". This is quite an "abuthennnn" statement - of course a smile if better than a sulk right! And of course, it works both ways. Especially after a long (potentially crummy) day at work, no one wants to come home and see a sulking, moody husband/wife - might evoke a "oh hell - what did I come home to?" feeling of dread)
6. Dinner Ready: "If you are home, or get home first, always have a delicious dinner ready to be served. And if he comes home feeling tense, give him a massage to ease his aches and pains"
   Totally agree with this statement, except that it differs from couple to couple. In my family, I am the cook, so I make it a point to get dinner ready. I personally do enjoy the satisfaction that the Husband enjoys and shows gratitude for his meal. In other families, the husbands do it, which isn't an issue. And I have no issues asking the Husband for a massage when I come home feeling tense, and vice versa.
7. Let him hang with friends: "If your man wants to have his buddies over for a night of poker, or football, or video games, don’t  get mad. Encourage it and make sure you’ve got lots of sandwiches and cold beer on hand to serve them".
   I suppose I agree with this statement possibly because the Husband hardly does this, so when he does, it's perfectly fine. It's a problem if this is happening a few nights each week though. But it's certainly good for guys to hang out - keeps them manly HAHA
8. Ask First: "Always ask him first before you go spending his hard-earned money, or even your hard-earned money, to buy something for yourself".
   This works both ways. It's not about asking for permission, but having a discussion. We have a general rule that if either one wants to spend above a certain amount, we need to discuss it first.
9. Remote Control: "Let him choose the programs you watch on television.   The television is man’s domain… he should be in charge.  And only Netflix/rent HIS  favorite movies or TV shows".
   I lied - I don't agree with all the statements - I disagree with this one!
10. Obey: "Don’t do things your husband doesn’t approve of.  And don’t complain about it. If he doesn’t want you wasting your time watching soap operas or having coffee with a neighbor, obey him.  You’ll both be happier for it".
    Again, this works both ways, dear husbands and wives!
11. Wild in bed: " Be a temptress in bed.  I he likes you in sexy lingerie, wear it.  Be shy and demure when you’re out in public, but once the lights are out, let him know he’s the only man in the world who can please you"
    I don't know about the, "be shy and demure when you're out in public" part - it's hilarious! But who on earth would have advised the opposite of 'wild in bed' - e.g. "lie there like a dead fish"
12. Know sports: "Bone up on sports so you’ll have something to talk about. But always let him start the conversation".
    Perhaps this is could be more aptly named, "show (or if necessary, feign) interest in his/her interests.
13. Keep fit: "Keep yourself in shape and always dress nicely so you’ll be a wife any husband would be proud to have".
    Again, applicable for both parties - ideally, I'd rather have a hottie instead of a flabbie; a stud instead of a dud; a hunk instead of chunk.
14. Cleaning: "Keep your home spic and span at all times.  It should look like you’re expecting company.  And the laundry should always be done.  Your man  should never have to look for clean socks or underwear and his shirts should all be ironed – by you".Uhm.... I can't even get my own clothes ironed, and I wouldn't even suspect a thing if our house got ransacked. Looks like this is another one I can't seem to agree with. Oops.

Double Eek!

We woke up this morning to find our mousetrap was successful - a mouse had been caught. No longer than my index finger, it was tiny.

I left the Husband to dispose of the mouse while I took Angus out for a walk. When I got back, the Husband told me about how when he chucked the mouse into the bin, he realised it was still alive when it scuttled deeper into the bin bag. He thought he saw the mouse only using it's front legs, his hind legs seemingly paralysed. How horrible.

I was adamant that if the mouse was still alive after injuries sustained from the mousetrap, a quick death must ensue. It really is the most decent thing to do, as opposed to have it slowly die :(

I came home in the evening by myself, and lo and behold, the mousetrap had caught yet another mouse (egad!!). This time, the mouse was clearly still alive, and so I could not bear to leave it there in the mousetrap until the Husband came home.

I summoned all the nerves I had, and released the mouse from the trap into a couple of plastic bags double-bagged (shrieking in the process). How incredibly traumatic, I proceeded to smack it against a metal surface 20-30 times until I was certain it could not be anything but dead.

When I was finished, my hands were trembling and my heart was pounding. So stressful and traumatic :(

Rest in peace, little mouse!

Eek!!

We have had a visitor recently - a little mouse who has decided to stay. We think it's been living in/behind/around the stove/oven unit, and this has caused us to be nervous everytime we walk towards the unit.

We contemplated using rat poison but decided against it, as Angus might help himself to a dead poisoned mouse out in the garden.

So we've gone the old fashioned way - a mousetrap with peanut butter as bait.

Fingers crossed that we'll get it asap!

We were just talking about what we ought to do if the mouse trap traps the mouse, but doesn't kill it. The decent thing to do would be to kill it quickly, though the Husband did contemplate on various alternatives, which I think are cruel as they all result in a slow death.

What a disturbing bedtime topic of conversation.

Grammar funnies

"Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit. Get it right".

"Grammar, spelling and punctuation is the difference between "Helping your friend, Jack, off a horse" to "Helping your friend jack off a horse".

God and Costco

People call me "The Costco Queen", a title I was bestowed, for frequent enthusiastic expounding of the wonders of Costco. I love it, and never hesitate talking about what an amazing place it is to anyone and everyone ("You can buy cheese, milk AND a garden shed, all under one roof!"). I am happy to invite people to come along anytime for a visit (as you need a membership or be a member's guest to visit).
When it comes to God the Creator though, I uhmm, ahh and hesitate before I choose to speak.

For years I had struggled with my lack of ability to "evangelise" - I always thought I was somewhat afraid of what people may think, or just wasn't "gifted" in that way.

Maybe it's still the above, but I think I've identified my main problem:

Costco (along with the other things I get excited about, such as Apple gadgets and Food) are easy to talk about and easy to encourage others to jump on the bandwagon because they are all GOODS and/or SERVICES. Goods and services which give immediate, instant, tangible gratification. The "benefit" or "Pros" of a particular product or service is addressed and experienced immediately.

Food immediately TASTES good; Apple gadgets look and feel technologically sexy; and Costco - you can buy 1.5 dozen of free-range eggs AND 1kg of whole-egg mayonnaise for less than $10.00 (after you buy your washing machine and get your hearing checked, all under one roof!)

But God isn't an instant bandaid who fixes all your problems or Santa Claus who gives you all you want or Mr Costco who will sell it to you at a heavily discounted price, and you'd receive instant gratification.

He's Someone I have a relationship with. He is Someone I am learning to have a conversation with, and journey with daily.

It's like you meet someone who eventually becomes your husband/wife. You get to know them little-by-little; you date; and eventually discover that he is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Now imagine if it was your Mum who first introduced this same man to you, and immediately pounds it into you that "You are to be wed to this man!". No wonder speed-dating or shotgun weddings with God tend not to work. They may, don't get me wrong - I am a testimony of that. But there are certainly problems that are likely to arise.

So - don't worry about what your mum/auntie/cousin/neighbour says- Start dating!

"May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance" [2 Thessalonians 3:5]

Twas a Happy Birthday!

A few weeks back, I celebrated my last "twentysomething" birthday. And what a week it was! It ended up being a four-day celebration, with friends and family spoiling me with food, and gracing me with their company!

The first night of celebration was spent at Cutler & Co, a two-hatted restaurant. I was keen to sample (read: wolf down) their suckling pig and we thought my birthday would be a special-enough an event to make a visit. I couldn't get a table for the evening of my birthday, so we settled for the day before my birthday.

Pre-birthday dinner [at] Cutler & Co

I decided to take my birthday as annual leave, as I could not bear the thought of being stuck inside at work on my birth-day (My husband would tell you I'm BIG on birthdays). The Husband uhmmed-and-aahed, but decided to take the day off as well (I wasn't expecting him to, but well done, well done *clap clap*).

I had already decided to (with or without The Husband) spend the day in the city; thankfully the weather was brilliant! Sunny, but not hot - days like this I love living in this city!

Caught up with my reciprocal bridesmaid (ie. I was hers and she was mine!) for brunch at Hardware Societe. She was going on holidays the very next day so we thought a catch-up would be great. Ah - the life of the stay-at-home-mums/dads..... Anyway, the catch-up was appreciated, however marred by a telephone call by the stupid builder (Thanks Porter Davis for ruining my birthday!) to inform us that we would have to fork out an additional $6000 for this-and-that. A hilarious incident with my birthday present ensued, which lightened up the mood, at the expense of the integrity of my dear friend at David Jones.



We slowly made our way (enjoying the sun!) to the National Gallery of Victoria, to both St Kilda Road and Fed Square sites. Spent quite a few hours at the gallery; it's amazing how much art can be seen and appreciated for free!!

Part of the "10 Ways to Look at the Past" exhibition [at] National Gallery of Victoria

The time finally came for us to head over to Chin Chin to try and get a table, but was told at 5:45pm that it was going to be a long wait, so we hung out at Go Go Bar downstairs. Eventually we were joined by one of our favouritest couples, and we gobbled/comsumed/inhaled whatever Chin Chin could offer us.

"We are soooo, like, kewl", 'cos we hang out [at] Chin Chin 

The next day, me and my work colleagues, with our partners, and our doggies, made our way to the Abbostford Convent, where the Suppermarket was held. There was a live band, food stalls, and other stalls selling what-not.We had decided to go out that evening in celebration of my birthday as well as my other colleague's, whose birthday was only 5 days after mine.

 

 Suppermarket [at] Abbotsford Convent

The next day, a dear friend shouted me lunch at Albert Street Food & Wine Bar in Brunswick. I don't  catch up often enough with her, so each time we do meet up, the time is treasured.

Albert Street Food & Wine Bar [at] Brunswick

The Husband had organised this little lunch date for me, so he could spend the day shopping and preparing a magnificent Chinese seafood dinner feast that night for me and a group of friends.On the menu were Charlie, Coco and Cameron:

Angus curious about the temporary pets...

The Seafood Feast! [at] home

Thus concluded my birthday almost-week long celebration. Many thanks to The Husband of Husbands (inside joke) for cooking up such an incredible spread and being an even more incredible husband.

I think back on my birthday, of the people I have journeyed and shared life with for at least a decade or two and realise once again I am so incredibly blessed with incredible relationships.

Photo albums, scrapbooks, yearbooks

To me, the Bible is kinda like someone's photo album, scrapbook, and yearbook.

You can browse through the Obama's baby photo album with interest. You might say, "oh, what a cute little bubby boy was he!" but not like it would be of any personal relevance to you.

But it's entirely different when the photo album, scrapbook or yearbook holds the stories of someone you love and actually have a relationship with.

You then no longer just browse with lukewarm interest, but instead peruse it carefully, as the stories would help you know and understand the one you love just that bit more.

You could still have a relationship with the one you love, even without looking into the photo album.

But curiousity piques- the more you get to know the one you love in the present, the more you desire to know about his stories.

Fence is up!

We've never been so excited to see a patch of dirt, and some temporary fencing!

Hopefully this means we'll start our build next week!


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Farewell, Food-Outs!

I was first adamant that I wasn't going to have a blog solely dedicated to food. I mean, c'mon, I have a life that is NOT just about food!

I began to blog about eating out on this blog, but soon realised that this personal blog, where I'm meant to post about my personal journey, was being FILLED and overrun with FOOD posts! Clearly my little hobby was turning to a slight obsession.

So alas, the time had come for me to choose to compartmentalise my (mild) obsession with talking about food into its own blog.

So I welcome you to bid adieu to the Food-Out label, and hop over to visit I came, I saw, I ate (http://veni-vidi-voro.blogspot.com)!

Baby manual

FOOD-OUT: Sichuan House [at] Melbourne CBD

The Husband often talks about the places he'd go for lunch with his colleagues but when we go to dinner we often just end up at some same old place. Which results in me going, "eee, you never take me anywhere...". But yesterday we finally made plans to go to this Sichuan House that he had been raving on about.




The interior is nothing to shout about- there was still a Christmas Tree-looking decoration on the wall, with a "fook" (good luck) sign (for lunar new year) stuck in the middle of the Xmas tree. Not exactly artistic nor impressive.

There was a bit of a commotion when we arrived about 7pm- the credit terminal was down, so people had no choice but to pay cash, to the stress and horror of the Aunty who looked like the owner. We were able to be seated immediately but the queue soon became incredibly long.




The first page of the menu had a "spicyness" legend- note "tongue burning hot"!!

We (despite being Asian) could only stomach mild and moderate chilli, so steered away from "tongue burning hot". I also had to insist that we ordered 1 dish that wasn't red and orange in colour.

The sole "chilli-less" dish (as according to their "spicy-ness" legend on the menu) was yummy. Slivers of pork tossed with a mix of veggies. Loved the crunch of the tea tree mushroom.

Omigawd this was eye-rollingly good. Like an Asian, ultra-intense version of the eggplant chip- crunchy on the outside, soft on the inside, tossed in some sticky-sweet chilli sauce. A must-order. Rated "mild chilli".

Rated "moderate chilli", I managed this dish just fine. But I must admit, I did pick through the bits, careful not to eat any dried chilli. Also another yummilicious dish!! Loved the roasted peanuts in there too- they balanced the tenderness of the chicken just fine. Yum yum!


Overall judgment?

Looking very much forward to the next visit!

Modern family tree

A colleague was browsing one of those gossip mags during an afternoon tea break and there was an article on Mel B and her new baby Madison. The convo progressed to her daughter Angel with Eddie Murphy, who has other children as well, and Mel B's new husband, who also has a daughter from a previous marriage. My colleague then remarked it would be an interesting family tree.

After a quick wiki (which mean quick!) search, I was able to put this together (only because this is such important information...):

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Dog-Friendly: Marriner Falls [at] Apollo Bay, VIC

Almost 2.5 months ago, we spent Cup Weekend down at Apollo Bay, and Angus came along! We went for a couple of walks, but Angus had to stay home as dogs are not allowed in the Otway Ranges (General rule - no dogs in National Parks). We did, however, take one walk to Marriner Falls and Angus had such a ball!

 

The walk wasn't too long; we took our own sweet time - probably took us, maybe, 90 minutes? I may be wrong. Either way, a very pleasant walk.

The interesting thing about this walk, is that, instead of bridges, the only way to cross streams were on stepping stones. Be prepared to get your shoes/feet wet!

When we got to the waterfall, we let Angus off-lead as the waterfall was pretty much enclosed. He had such a ball exploring!

 

I wasn't too impressed when he found himself a jellybean (!). But I'm sure he felt mighty pleased with himself!

Can't remember how I came to know about this place, and that dogs are allowed. Not an easy walk to find online.


DIRECTIONS: At Apollo Bay from Great Ocean Road, turn onto Gambier St and follow along Barham Valley Road. Keep going; the road gets narrower and there aren't any signs until you are there. Doubt you would miss it once you're there.

Food-in: Ngo Hiam (Lobak) and Pineapple Tarts

Decided to make the Husband's ultimate dream come true (no, not THAT dream ;) ) by attempting to make ngo hiam or what we call as lobak, essentially a fried meat roll wrapped in bean curd skin. Ended up buying the WRONG beancurd skin (as M pointed out - the COCK brand is only for 'pak khor foo chook yee mai' @gingko beancurd skin barley dessert broth) - it broke so easily and pretty much started disintegrating :( I tried my best, and it turned out pretty ugly with foochok (beancurd skin) pointing in every direction, but thankfully, edible. Thanks C for pointing out which ones I should have bought - maybe next time I'll experience more success!!

Ugly ngo hiam

In order to make it seem more "Chinese New Year"-sy, I decided to make pineapple tarts.

Too bad I didn't have the pineapple tart mould (the one that makes each tart shaped like a flower)- I remember helping grandma making these ones for CNY; helping her make CNY bikkies was one of my strongest CNY memories from childhood.

Anyway the ones I made were pretty ugly (are you sensing a pattern here?)- hardly any consistency. Taste-wise, pretty good for a first attempt though!

Made the filling from scratch- fresh pineapple (hurray for food processor), sugar, cinnamon and cloves. Took forever to reduce and caramelise (forever meaning 2.5hrs)

I combined two recipes; I wanted to make one recipe's filling but not the pastry as it had too many ingredients I'd have to go out and buy (eg. Cream cheese, shortening, ghee etc etc etc). The pastry I ended up making had a filling recipe using tinned pineapples, which I wasn't keen on.

Overall turned out okay, but I'd love to get the pineapple flower mould next time!

 

Ugly Pineapple tarts

GONG XI FA CAI!

FOOD-OUT: Lentil as Anything [at] Footscray

I've been talking about wanting to come here to try for ages and ages - had made plans with an
ex-work colleague to catch up here since last year (last year, being a month ago :) ) but we ended up having to cancel on each other.

FINALLY, about a week ago, we managed to find ONE day when neither of us were ill and we could actually meet up!

 How it works (apologies for the bad photo)

I've never actually eaten at any of the outlets before, but I've noticed that the Abbotsford Convent one does get busy. I like the concept, about how you pay what you can for your meal. Those who can afford to pay, pay; and those who can't, don't. Unfortunately I have heard that the business has not been doing well, which is a pity - it makes you question how it may be possible for a business to show grace but still be sustainable.

Buffet setup

Anyway - Lentil as Anything, Footscray, has a buffet set-up - you grab a plate and pile on what ever you can (I can just hear my mum right now, "make sure you finish everything on your plate! Do you know how many starving kids there are?!")

My plate o' dinner

Oh - did I mention that it's a vegetarian restaurant? 

I piled on some salads, some curry, some pasta but loved the dhal best (that's the orangey-red blob of lentils on the bottom left hand of the above photo). Dessert was apple-crumble - not a massive fan.

Had a coffee after dinner (espresso machine present) and it was actually not bad!

My friend J and I had a discussion during dinner about what would be considered a reasonable amount to put in. After discussion, we agreed that if you could afford to pay, anything between $15-25 would be a reasonable amount.

What do you guys reckon?