Here is the definition:
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation". For example "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
21. I used to be indecisive Now I'm not so sure.
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25 Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Dog-Friendly: The Slow Food Farmers' Market, Abbotsford Convent, VIC
After searching hard online, I found that the Slow Food Farmers' Market held at the Abbotsford Convent welcomes (well-behaved) dogs (on lead)! I often do feel a bit hesitant bringing Angus anywhere as I don't often know what other people's reactions might be, but right at the St Heliers car park ($2 per entry) someone had already asked to pet him. When we got to the entrance of the market, the lady collecting the entrance fee remarked that Angus was going to have a great time as there were many other dogs at the market.
We spent about $60 (Gulp - more than we had expected), but the produce was amazing.
Purchases:
$14 on 2 tubs of pate (Duck & Grand Marnier, Venison & Muscat)
$ 7 on 160g broken blue cheese
$ 8.5 on a jar of roast pumpkin relish (yum!)
$ 8 on chestnuts
$18.5 on an amazing steak sandwich and snag roll with the works - cous cous, relish, beetroot etc etc etc!
The convent had some lovely, lovely grounds to walk about and have a picnic; we fumbled about our ginormous juicy sandwich and roll on a bench overlooking the grounds - very pretty (the grounds, that is. We were not a pretty sight!)
The market, the convent, and its grounds proved to be an ultra sensory experience for Angus- possibly overwhelmingly so:
We spent about $60 (Gulp - more than we had expected), but the produce was amazing.
Purchases:
$14 on 2 tubs of pate (Duck & Grand Marnier, Venison & Muscat)
$ 7 on 160g broken blue cheese
$ 8.5 on a jar of roast pumpkin relish (yum!)
$ 8 on chestnuts
$18.5 on an amazing steak sandwich and snag roll with the works - cous cous, relish, beetroot etc etc etc!
The convent had some lovely, lovely grounds to walk about and have a picnic; we fumbled about our ginormous juicy sandwich and roll on a bench overlooking the grounds - very pretty (the grounds, that is. We were not a pretty sight!)
The market, the convent, and its grounds proved to be an ultra sensory experience for Angus- possibly overwhelmingly so:
Details: Slow Food Farmers' Market
| When | 4th Saturday of every month, 8am - 1pm |
| Where | Abbotsford Convent 1 St Heliers St Abbotsford VIC 3067 |
| Entry | $2 entry goes to the Abbotsford Convent Foundation maintenance fund |
| Booking/Enquiries | www.mfm.com.au |
Introducing the Dog-Friendly Blog Label
Not wanting to leave Angus home ALL by himself ALL the time, I try to find places to go or things we can do with our dog on the weekend. Our society, I’m afraid, discriminates between human children and canine children, and many places do not welcome dogs. It hasn’t been that easy looking up online for dog-friendly places, I have discovered.
Most dog-friendly places or activities listed online are either on dog-friendly accommodation, or dog-focused activities (dog parks, dog camp, etc etc). All I really want are things we can do, and Angus just tag along and socialise with other pooches, not necessarily dog-focused activities. If I wanted to focus on my dog, I’ll just take him to my local dog park or oval or nearby river trail.
And so, I have decided to post on places one can bring their canine companions; hopefully it may help someone along!
Most dog-friendly places or activities listed online are either on dog-friendly accommodation, or dog-focused activities (dog parks, dog camp, etc etc). All I really want are things we can do, and Angus just tag along and socialise with other pooches, not necessarily dog-focused activities. If I wanted to focus on my dog, I’ll just take him to my local dog park or oval or nearby river trail.
And so, I have decided to post on places one can bring their canine companions; hopefully it may help someone along!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Bersih 2.0
Reflecting on the recent worldwide coverage (NYTimes, Al-Jazeera, ABCnews, CNN) on the Bersih rally, I must say I had and still do, to some extent, mixed feelings.
About the rally, about government, about the country itself.
At first I had doubts about the motive of Bersih - I had the impression that it was essentially a rally organised by the Opposition coalition. But as the page De-mystifying Bersih notes, invitation was extended to all political parties, including the ruling party, however was declined.
Should the Opposition coalition ever win the Malaysian elections, would it bite us back in the butt? I don't suppose I know enough of each political party's policies and ethos to understand how PAS, DAP and PKR can work together to run a country - it's easy to work together when there's a common enemy, but what happens when the enemy has been defeated? African nations have suffered decades of horrific civil wars after the 'foreigners' were defeated.
Could we imagine a Malaysia that is actually harmonious with a focus on equality regardless of race or religion? A Malaysia that is bersih?
With all that is happening, a part of me feels incredibly blessed to have been given the opportunity to live in Australia, where the police are present to ensure safety and protection of the masses. But a part of me feels that I'm missing out on being a small part that could change history of the country I would always call my own.
Sometimes I feel what we can do isn't good enough - changing your facebook profile pic to include the Bersih badge, putting up a few #bersih tweets, forwarding some emails - but sometimes something is better than nothing.
I am only one;
but I AM one,
I cannot do everything,
but I CAN do something,
And that I can do, I ought to do,
And what I ought to do,
by the grace of God,
I shall do
- Edward Everett Hale
About the rally, about government, about the country itself.
At first I had doubts about the motive of Bersih - I had the impression that it was essentially a rally organised by the Opposition coalition. But as the page De-mystifying Bersih notes, invitation was extended to all political parties, including the ruling party, however was declined.
Should the Opposition coalition ever win the Malaysian elections, would it bite us back in the butt? I don't suppose I know enough of each political party's policies and ethos to understand how PAS, DAP and PKR can work together to run a country - it's easy to work together when there's a common enemy, but what happens when the enemy has been defeated? African nations have suffered decades of horrific civil wars after the 'foreigners' were defeated.
Could we imagine a Malaysia that is actually harmonious with a focus on equality regardless of race or religion? A Malaysia that is bersih?
With all that is happening, a part of me feels incredibly blessed to have been given the opportunity to live in Australia, where the police are present to ensure safety and protection of the masses. But a part of me feels that I'm missing out on being a small part that could change history of the country I would always call my own.
Sometimes I feel what we can do isn't good enough - changing your facebook profile pic to include the Bersih badge, putting up a few #bersih tweets, forwarding some emails - but sometimes something is better than nothing.
I am only one;
but I AM one,
I cannot do everything,
but I CAN do something,
And that I can do, I ought to do,
And what I ought to do,
by the grace of God,
I shall do
- Edward Everett Hale
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
Hope equals tension
There’s so much tension between living life and living life*(living love-inspired, hope-filled, faith-empowered). To live a life unperturbed by the current forces of society, the yoyo-ing of the financial markets, the fragility of our health.
So much tension to live in freedom.
I suppose that’s why we call it hope.
Hope can only exist when something is yet to be realised.
I’m certainly not there yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in it.
I do. But sometimes the tension tires. Like trying to climb out of a deep pit.
The Creator through His stories has shown that there is an alternative to being stuck in a deep dark pit. There is the surface, where there is sunlight and fields as far as the eye can see.
But I’ve got to do the climbing.
And continue climbing. The constant tension.
By the grace of God, the hope of living in freedom will one day be realised.
So much tension to live in freedom.
I suppose that’s why we call it hope.
Hope can only exist when something is yet to be realised.
I’m certainly not there yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in it.
I do. But sometimes the tension tires. Like trying to climb out of a deep pit.
The Creator through His stories has shown that there is an alternative to being stuck in a deep dark pit. There is the surface, where there is sunlight and fields as far as the eye can see.
But I’ve got to do the climbing.
And continue climbing. The constant tension.
By the grace of God, the hope of living in freedom will one day be realised.
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